Fearless.

I'm finally practicing hitting "men", "kote", and "do" with my sensei.  He put on his "mask" and required us to hit his "men" to practice.
When it was my turn, I noticed that I swung my shinai up and when it was time to swing down to hit the "men", I hesitated. 
My sensei was telling me to follow through with the swing movement... and I just couldn't do it.
Over and over, I kept freezing and hesitating. 
I really don't want to use the "girl card" but I noticed the males in my class were just swinging away with no problem.
I was afraid that I would hurt my sensei (although, logically I knew I couldn't hurt him). I think I just wasn't used to walking up to someone and just hitting him/her.
I was so frustrated but I realized that I was using my “female-ness” to justify my shortcomings (I got really disappointed at myself for having self pity because I knew females are just as good as the males).
So, I went home and I practiced & practiced.  I mentally trained and told myself to hit the target.  I needed to stop being scared and stop letting fear take over.

 

In Kendo there is something called “Shikai” or “the four sicknesses” which are:
1. Surprise - I feel surprise when the sensei breaks my mental composure or kamae with his physically strong hits. 
2. Fear - I feel fear knowing that my opponent is stronger (especially the males) and I fear that I will miss my strikes.
3. Doubt - I feel doubt because I am unsure of my abilities and I feel myself holding back. 
4. Hesitation - I feel hesitation with my strikes and put too much thought into it.

I am currently feeling all these “sicknesses”.  The cure is to be of clear mind, to continue practicing and to gain knowledge from fellow kendokas. 

 

I hope to become fearless with time and overcome each of these four sicknesses. 

Tough love.

I now feel like a real kendoka (someone who practices kendo) because…

...I finally got blisters on my feet. I read that blisters happen in kendo due to the footwork (suri-ashi) and it is hard to deal with. I’m hoping it will soon turn to calluses and my feet will become immune to the sliding on the wooden floor. However, for now it is painful. Some of my other classmates are getting blisters on their feet and hands but it’s pretty amazing how we just push through the pain.

 

The footwork training is grueling but I’ve been practicing to make sure that my footwork doesn’t change while I do suburi (repeated swinging of a sword against an imaginary target).

Since I lack any type of martial arts training and I lack arm strength, my suburi has been pretty awful.  My “cuts” have not been straight and I’m still working on my footwork. Initially, I felt discouraged but seeing the other kendokas really motivates me.  I just had to remember to be tough and that I love kendo. 

Hajime.

Yesterday I began my first Kendo class.  I was nervous to see who else would be in my class.  When I arrived I saw that everyone in my class were male students except for me (I was a little disappointed but I’m used to being the only female in a group)

My instructor, Kim sensei, was giving us basic training, but mainly focused on the terminology.  All kendo terminology is in Japanese so I’m really learning another language. 

Respect is very important in kendo and one of the first things you learn is to bow (rei). The etiquette is to bow when entering and leaving the dojo, to bow to your sensei, and to bow to your opponent. 

The sensei will also call out basic commands such as hajime (begin), yame (stop), seiretsu (line up).
In addition, the equipment and armor are also called by its Japanese names.

I am utterly fascinated by the customs and etiquette of kendo.  I feel that in today’s world, there is very little structure and things like manners and respect are slowing becoming part of the past.  Kendo teaches not only about the sword, but also about showing respect, slowing down and mediating, conquering fears, and being determined.  

First steps.

Today I attended a kendo practice just to observe. I was nervous as I first walked up towards the dojo, but when I walked in, I felt my heart jump. My childhood dream was staring me in the face. 

When I was younger I wanted to try kendo, however, my father felt that this sport was too masculine for me (because I am already a tomboy) and he thought I should try a more feminine sport. So, I always told myself kendo was not an option. Now, I am 31 and will enroll in kendo, which will begin next month.

I’m taking the first step towards accomplishing my dream. Better late than never.
So, what exactly is kendo?

Kendo means: “Way of the Sword” and is the traditional Japanese style of fencing.  It uses bamboo swords (shinai) and protective armor (bogu).

All Japan Kendo Federation (AJKF) developed then published "The Concept and Purpose of Kendo":

Concept

Kendo is a way to discipline the human character through the application of the principles of the katana.

Purpose

To mold the mind and body.

To cultivate a vigorous spirit,

And through correct and rigid training,

To strive for improvement in the art of Kendo.

To hold in esteem human courtesy and honor.

To associate with others with sincerity.

And to forever pursue the cultivation of oneself.

Thus will one be able:

To love one's country and society;

To contribute to the development of culture;

And to promote peace and prosperity among all peoples.